Something Wrong
by AdFinemAdInfinitum
Summary: I hate her.She's the most annoying girl i've met in my 23 years.And she happens to be my girlfriend! Oh don't ask.I want to break up, i do but something holds me back...JSP/OC-sequel to 'The Mess'which is Scorpius Malfoy/Rose Weasley -R
1. Chapter 1

A/N : Hello everybody.

This is the **sequel of my former story 'The Mess'** . (I would suggest you read that story first but it is not necessary) –it is inspired by a song called 'The right kind of wrong'

In case you have already read my other story I must say that it is **James Potter POV** now

Which mean this is James' story **not** Rose / Scorpius'

It has some Rose / Scorpius in it though

I cannot say much more just…

Enjoy

PS: Oh I forgot it is Post-Hogwarts

**Something Wrong**

**Chapter 1 :**** I simply exist **

I hate her. I most certainly do. Oh, don't give me the judgmental look ok? I am not cruel or heartless to say this. I might be just a bit ruthless but still it is not my fault I hate her.

She's all to blame. Because, dear people, she dated me only due to my name. She never ever felt a single thing. I didn't know then. I was all enthusiastic about her at first. But I see it now. She hates it when we speak and she hates it when we stay silent. She hates it when we go out and hates it when we stay in.

And I ? Well, I hate _her_.

Every time I see her something dies within me. When I speak with my friends and she comes to say 'hi' I feel like shoving her away. She is not wanted. Those days that it rains I never stay in with her. I fear I might get a depression out of it. Every morning that she leaves for work I sigh in relief.

All in all she's my worst nightmare. But still I'm with her.

You are obviously wondering why by now. It is extremely simple let me tell you. Because guys…when the lights go out she's…she's …killing me. I make up my mind to break up with her and as soon as I return home she's already there just a bit too reluctant to kiss me. And when she does that, I'm all gone.

I can't think straight. All my mind can process those moments is that I want her. I want her _senseless_.

Which let me tell ya sucks. Cause next morning she wakes up mad at me. And at first I wondered what did I do wrong? Now I know. _I simply exist. _

So I hate her. I know I am repeating myself but I cannot hold it back. Actually I never could. Being the irrational guy that I am. Because only an irrational person like me could date a girl that hates his guts and has nothing to do with him.

I party. I mean I don't just go to parties. I am the parties. Parties don't happen without me.

She reads. Not just reads. She buries herself for hours in a book and doesn't take as much as a look at me until she finishes it.

I prank. And by prank I mean pull everybody's socks around the place. In Hogwarts' dictionary next to the definition of prank they have a picture of me. No seriously they do. I used a Glue charm in fifth year.

She's serious. Never says something she doesn't mean. I believe I have never seen her make one simple joke. Except perhaps for this time hen she said she's in love with me…

I am a romantic. No, not girlish and all but I believe in love. I want to have a family one day like my parents did.

She is cynical. You know what she said when I told her I would love her forever? She said forever is a way too long time and there are lots of cute girls out there. I mean what kind of girl says such a thing?

However she was correct. Forever is a long time and I don't intend on spending it with her. One day her tricks won't work and I will be able to break up with her properly.

But till then I am being tortured by her presence. And my only consolation is, she is tortured as well by mine.

And for what? For a bloody name. I feel like Romeo in this muggle play. Only when Juliet says 'Deny your name so that I can love you.' My Juliet would be saying 'Deny your name so that I _can't_ love you.'

And some times I wish she did. Cause I would. Only so that I can get rid of her. I never liked 'Potter' anyway. I could turn it into James McHuirter or James Dawsen.

"Mate what are you thinking again." Oh my dear son Scorpius. We've been friends since my second and his first year in Hogwarts. Now about the son part, when I first saw him in Hogwarts Express he looked lost, like a little orphan. So I and my fave cousin of them all , Freddie, decided to adopt him. Then came our second son Matt, likewise . Of course there's Al but he's my family's shame. A black sheep. So we just call him uncle-Al.

And that's the way things had been in Hogwarts. All crazy.

But we're no longer there.

Bloody Fred went to Romania with uncle-Charlie for a year . Matt works in Gringotts and is always busy. Thankfully Scorp is still available. He might be studying to be a Healer but not even _that_ stops him from going out with me every once in a while. Contrary to my own brother who complains always about the endless assignments he gets in Wizarding Law School and never leaves his desk. However we cannot go flirting with Scorp. No! He has Rosie you see and not planning on leaving her. Ever I mean.

"James you just fazed out you know." Rosie. What did I tell you. She my cousin and I practically adore her. She's smart , cute , a real beauty, independent and so in love with my mate Scorp here. Lucky they were. At least they sorted it out.

"I know, I know." They both seem worried. I must look really awful. Crap. I don't want relationship advice from them. They are like soul mates. How could they understand my deal?

"Ok, what's the problem?" Straight to the point huh? Fine son.

"I hate her." I spit. So what if they find me mean too? I have to say what I think. And I think I hate her.

"Who Juls?" Yes, Juls cousin. Bloody Julia.

"Yup." I mutter irritated.

"Why?" Why, he says. I don't know maybe because all she cares is to be able to say to her girlfriends she dates a Potter. Or because she doesn't even fancy me. And she ignores me except for those times she knows I want to break up. Chose the one you like.

"Because she doesn't like me. And I don't like her either. For Merlin's sake I can't stand her. I feel sick when she starts talking about work and she never cares to go out with me." I have no idea what I just said. Words just came out in a blur and I had no control of my tongue. But whatever.

"I think you are overreacting, but fine. If that's the case why don't you break up with her?" You think I haven't thought of it Rosie? Merlin help me I think of it every single day.

"I want to. I really do. However every time I try to talk to her she starts kissing me and snogging me and doing…erm…stuff. So I can neither resist her, nor say what I want." I say defeated. Life sucks . That's all. And I can't see why. What did I do wrong?

"Mate, you're so hopeless when it comes to _those_ matters…" I know, thank you very much Scorp.

"Well, it's not my fault. If you just saw what she does…" Seriously. All she need to do is touch me and I'm off.

"James!" Oh! I forgot what a sensible, contained little girl Rosie is. Her boyfriend gives her a little wink and she seems even more annoyed. Bad move man.

"Scorpius!" Yeah, yeah. We heard you cousin. My mate looks regretful. Oh he is so pathetic. No! No. Don't apologize.

Crap. He will.

"Oi, Rosie. I'm sorry ok? Want some help in there." Of course. I had forgotten how ethical he is. How could I? I mean the guy wanted to wait with her till school was over cause he said it was wrong to hurry it up especially inside Hogwarts where it was forbidden and all.

Merlin, has he learnt nothing from me?

Guess no. Now whether that's a good or bad thing I don't know. Seeing as I'm so screwed up.

"No. I don't need help. I intend to keep my kitchen clean." Hahaha. Yes, she has a point there. Whenever Scorp cooks there are bound to be some accidents. He says it's just like Potions to him.

"It was just once. And just so you know I never mess up my own kitchen." Oh right. They still live separately. I had forgotten. I mean they practically spent all their time together so I don't really see why they have two apartments.

"That's because you never cook there." I interfere. "Now can we please concentrate on my problem?" Not that I want to ruin your food conversation but I'm in a crisis here.

"Well, you just have to get over the whole snogging thing James. I see no other way." Why do I even bother to ask them? They think everything is so simple. Do that, do this…

"I can't." I say and I feel even grumpier than when I came.

"Nonsense." Says Rosie. "I didn't know you were so addicted to those things." She chops some potatoes as she speaks.

"Me neither." I always liked girls and snoggings but it's not like I couldn't live without them. Till she came along. Now I need her to kiss me once a day otherwise I'm dead and gone. And let's not forget that , well, I hate her.

"Actually I was just wondering how can you hate her." Are ya kidding me Scorp?

"I mean, I see nothing bad in her. Ok, she might not be as playful as you are but mate, _noone_ is anyway." Not as playful! Her situation is _not_ what I call 'not as playful'. It's more like a miserable, cynical, dry of all emotions situation. Yeah!

And Rosie nods. Are they both mental?

"You're defending her?" I shout at them annoyed. I came to ask for help. Not to speak with her lawyers.

"You know we're on your side in this don't you James? But I still can't see what's so wrong with her." Nice try Rosie. I knew I shouldn't talk to them. I knew it. I'd better owl Fred. He will understand.

"You know what guys? I'd better go. I need some rest we're terribly busy in the shop these days." I tried to find a better excuse , I did. But nothing came.

"But James! I'm cooking dinner." No thanks. I've lost my appetite.

"Some other time." I growl.

"Ok. We'll see you on Friday at 'Crux' mate." Oh, I had forgotten of this. Going out with them. Merlin! _I_ had forgotten about a party in the 'Crux'. What the hell has she done to me?

"Oh, right. See you then." I grab my traveling cloak and take out my wand. And just before I Apparate I hear my cousin whispering.

"I cannot believe how James has changed. He was never before so miserable no matter what the problem." I sigh and the scenery changes around me.

I am back home. I take a look around the place and narrow my eyes as I see her sleeping on the brown sofa of my living-room. Every once in a while she shivers and a pathetic thought comes to my mind. I should go and grab her a blanket.

No. I hate her. We don't bring blankets to people we hate. But hey! I'm with her. So supposedly I love her.

We both know it's a lie though. As a result, I don't have to put on an act to prove it.

Good. Cause I'm not going to tuck her in if my life depends on it.

I change my direction and head to my bedroom.

I hate her. She's my girlfriend and I bloody hate her.

Merlin!

A/N: I know it is a very strange chapter but the story won't be so grim all the time.

I simply wanted something different than the usual, I love her , I can't have her story…

But it all ends well I promise so keep reading and…

REVIEW!

I love you all

Sarah


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Ok, I admit it. I am very worried about this story

So really honestly thanks for reviewing and reading.

I hope you liked the idea I had

It won't be a big story either. Too much like 'The Mess'

Enjoy!

**Chapter 2: A mistake**

I am a bloody fool. You know, one of those people that walk by you in the street and you go like, 'Oh, poor guy. He was always somewhat slow. I remember him from school . His name was something like, Patrick, or Pattison, or maybe Philip.' And move your head up-side-down in pity.

Well, that's me.

And if you think I'm overreacting then just listen to this.

It started out as a good day. I assure you it did. No matter how wrong things turned out. At the beginning all was good. Much like in our relationship actually.

I went to work at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes with the best of moods. We had lots of people in the shop today but no problems occurred and we earned lots of money. Now that might not be my dream job but I surely enjoy the good salary and the unlimited prank material.

To add to the good work climate today uncle-George allowed me to leave half an hour earlier. So I was in the main street of Diagon Alley with money on my pocket and thirty minutes to spare and I wondered. What can I do to spent this half-hour?

And that's when trouble begun. I thought –without wanting to I assure you- why not go and pick up my jolly little girlfriend from work?

I cursed myself of course for that idea but when I did so it was way too late. So I walked to the building where The Daily Prophet is roofed determined to pick her up and tell her straight off that I want to split.

I open it's big fancy door and head inside with big steps. Let's make it quick. I thought.

I found her office easily since I had been there before. Months ago when I still thought she liked me. However as soon as I open the door (with a heavy heart) I hear voices from inside and step back.

The one I know. It is hers. I would recognize that hateful voice everywhere. About the other I'm not sure. Must be one of her colleagues . She never lets me go out with them.

"I honestly don't understand you Juls." The reporter says agitated. Oh! Do you think she's seeing someone behind my back? Cause that would be awesome. I wouldn't even need to explain why I hate her. I would just insult her, call her a bitch and break up.

"What do you mean Grey?" Grey? As in Gredrick Wood? The journalist? The famous author? I see now. What's James Potter, son of the Chosen one, compared to Gredrick Wood?

"I mean I can't figure out why you stay in the office so late every day when your job finishes hours earlier." What? Could you please repeat the question? Her job finishes hours earlier?

"I-I need to prepare for next week's article." She stammers? Why does she stammer?

I know it is very annoying to hear comments in the form of questions but what can I say? (See I did it again) Noone explains anything to me.

"Oh really? And how many weeks forward are you?" Wood asks sarcastically. I'm guessing from his manner that she's _some _weeks forward.

"Lots." She says it so simply. Like she wanted to confess it. This is wrong. So wrong. Why would she stay here to work all day when she could do all sorts of things? Didn't I say she is one workaholic girl? I must have.

"Why?" My point exactly mate.

"I can't go home to _him_." _Him_? Like _me_? I'm sorry but I did nothing wrong. I am not to be blamed. I am James , not _him._

"Did he hurt you Juls?" The prick! Who does he think I am? A pervert of some king? Hurt her! Ridiculous.

"Ye-yes. I mean you could say he did." The liar! The bitch! Using me to get to him. If I ever get my hands on her then I will really hurt her and…

"How dares he lay his hands…" No! How dares she say those-!

"Oh! No. Not that way Grey. He just hates me so!" I most certainly do…Hey! How does she know?

"Don't be foolish Juls. He's your boyfriend, he can't hate you!" Right. Or maybe , just maybe he can…Just saying.

"Yeah…I don't know. I just feel so bad when he's next to me. He treats me bad and I can't stand him sometimes." Same here sweetie.

"Nonsense. You are so nice together." Well, I have to admit it mate. I've been a Seeker for years but I've never seen an eye as sharp as yours. Ha!

"No we're not. We don't even fit. He has all those annoying habits that are absolutely intolerable. I mean I feel sick every time he jokes." Like I care. I feel more proud of myself just cause she dislikes me.

"Hmm, he does have an interesting sense of humor indeed." What sort of wet blankets are these journalists? Not liking my humor!

"The thing is I'd rather stay here and work non-stop till next century than go home to him." Till next century huh? Deal!

"That would be idiotic. You can just break up with him. There are people here more than willing to take his place you know." Oh that's more than enough. I won't sit here and watch them flirting and laughing behind my back.

I'm going in now.

"James?" Surprise!

"Potter! Erm , nice to see you." Same here Wood. I mean who wouldn't be glad to see the guy that corners their girlfriend ?

"Hello Wood. Julia, you seem busy are you ready to go or do you need some more time?" She seems just a bit embarrassed. Good. She should be.

"It's ok I can go now. Just wait a moment to take my next weeks article and my cloak." I nod and wait. She is quick. In less than five minutes we're out in the streets.

"Come on let's Apparate home." She says and I am tempted to say yes. No. No, this is wrong. You must break up with her James not take her to bed. Especially not _your_ bed.

"No. I'd rather walk. You Apparate." I suggest. It's a good trick. I know she'll never agree to this. She's too ashamed for what she did.

"It's fine. I'll go with you." She mutters. The best thing about this trick is , it always works.

However what doesn't work in this case is my bloody brain.

I try to talk to her . Tell het it is over. Yet, nothing comes out of my mouth. I just keep repeating her words in my head. 'I'd rather stay here and work non-stop till next century than go home to him'. How can she be so mean as to imply I treat her bad? The bitch.

Before I know it we're home and I'm afraid I've lost yet another chance. Crap.

I open the door and as soon as we're inside she all over me.

She messes my hair with her hands, like I do when I'm nervous , only she does it better. She kisses my neck, my chin, my mouth and I can't hold myself back.

"Drop it Julia." I breathe. She ignores me. Typical.

Her hands are on my face, my hair, my back. Have I told you how her touch disarms me?

I kiss her back . No in fact I just crush my lips on hers and she responds immediately deepening the kiss like only she can. And the more I feel the need for breath the more I kiss her. Then suddenly I stop hesitant as my hands are almost under her shirt.

"James!" She whispers pleadingly. I see a pained look in her eyes and a glance of lust.

I feel my body shiver and I tie my arms around her.

Once again I am defeated.

Yet, no matter how many times she kisses me tonight I will never stop hating her.

Cause this is just a mistake.

A/N: I know I know grown-up material. But it is hardly visible right?

I know most of those who followed from the Mess must feel a bit out of place

However I wanted something different that's all

So come on all of you review

I always love to hear opinions!!!

I love ya all

Sarah


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hmm, I'm a bit worried . You see I've lost some friends along the way.

I hope they haven't given up on me just yet

(However there are other who didn't hesitate to try out something wrong and let me say that I looove you)

Anyway Thanks for reading!! And reviewing!!!

I think I ought to have one of these:

I own nothing it is all J. K. Rowlings'

Nevertheless,

Enjoy!

**PS: Since I've been asked let me say that YES there will be love!! Lots of it.**

**Chapter 3:**** She doesn't exist **

She's so, so, so beautiful. Her long blonde hair falling on her face , her dark blue eyes burning holes in mines, her long fingers touching my shoulder. I think I'm into her.

And consequently, I think I'm screwed.

Cause no…I don't mean my jolly holy girlfriend. No. I hate her remember? I mean this awesomely cute new girl that keeps coming in the shop since last week.

And to add to that I think she's into me as well. She always says 'hi' and smiles me a bright smile. Plus when she needs help It's always me she comes to. But of course all those proof I had till yesterday mean nothing compared to the proof I got today.

You see , she came close to me and I thought she wanted to ask what 'Leaking Quills' do but she proved me wrong. (No bad feelings though). 'Would you happen to be free tonight?' She had asked and I was practically ecstatic.

'For you I'm free every night.'

I bit my lip to avoid saying it. I had to come up with something cleverer than that. My impulsive nature would have to wait in this case. Cause you know, no matter how I want to I am _not_ free every night. And well , there's still this little problem called Julia.

Do you think it would be a nice idea to murder her? I mean nothing dirty just some poison in her pumpkin juice. And in the court I would use my miserably desperate –or desperately miserable, if you prefer- look that I used on McGonagall after a big prank, as I would tell the judges 'You look awfully cute today, has anybody told you that?' Hahahaha .

Ok , fine I would end up in Azkaban most likely but at least she would be dead. And Mandy (the blonde that asked me out) would come and visit every month. Not to mention that society would be forever thankful to me.

A bit far-fetched. You think? Ok, you are correct. I mean it is very hard to find poison in our days. Just joking, just joking. I'm not such a guy. I might be a prankster but a murderer? Surely not!

"So what do you say James?" Oh damn I forgot about her.

"Yes, I happen to be Mandy. Would you like to go for a drink?" Now don't get mad ! It's not like I asked her to come over to my place… What harm can a drink do?

"Sure!" Like she could resist me. You see my current relationship might have misled you a little. Usually girls do NOT overlook me. The opposite I dare say. I could have almost everyone I wanted, hadn't I gone mental and get together with that ….grrr.

"Good. Then we'll meet at the 'Amortentia' at ten? What do you say?" Now, I know 'Amortentia' is most certainly not as fun as 'Crux' but it is much safer.

Safer like when you want to take out a 'friend' for a drink without all your girlfriend's friends seeing you.

I know I've said nothing was going to happen and I still mean it. _She_ can be as awful as she wants I won't fall into _her_ trap and become a rotten apple like her (rotten apple? Nice one!) .

However if one of those bloody nosey journalists see us two chatting she will owl Julia and tell her I'm proposing to another girl or something. So no 'Crux' for tonight.

"Ok, 'Amortentia' is cool but why go at ten? We can go now. I thought you finish work in half an hour." Wow! She in a hurry. That's great. At last someone actually wanting to leave work to go out.

"I do. Well, ok . Care to wait for me?" She smiles. I so have her. Oi! Crap, uncle-George.

"Hey, Jamie, planning a night out with this pretty girl aren't ya?" So what? What? I'm getting lectured for that now? I don't think so. My life, my business.

"Yes, we're friends and I'm thinking of taking her to 'Amortentia'." Oook, too much information. Why can't I keep my mouth closed huh?

"Nice idea." Thank you Merlin. "You should call Juls too. She looked pressed last time she came to see you." I take it back! Do you hear me Merlin? I take it back!

Hey! Wait. Julia hasn't been here since…oh, I don't know…Ages.

"Julia has never visited me here." I protest, feeling Mandy from next to me sending questioning looks my way.

"Sure she has. She was here last week but you were busy. You didn't see her." Yeah, sure…

"Whatever. Can I leave now uncle-George? I don't want to keep Mandy waiting for thirty minutes." Yes! Pleeeeease. She smiles.

"Ok, ok. Just call Julia, will you?" I glare at him for a moment. Why on earth does everyone like _her_ so? I can't understand it.

"Maybe. Bye and thanks." I take out my wand and hold Mandy's hand in mines. It feels great let me tell you. She shows no repulsion in my touch. Unlike someone else I know…

In a 'thud' we're both in 'Amortentia' . I swift my gaze around the place that is half-empty , seeing as it is still nine. Then I turn my full attention to her.

"So do you like it here?" I say as I sit smugly at the bar. She sits next to me just a little bit nervous. Or so my experience in girls says.

"Yeah, it is not as noisy as 'Crux' which is good since I really wanted to talk." Bingo! What can I say? I just have an eye for those things…

"Me too. Wanna drink something?" Now let's see her taste. She touches her chin thoughtfully.

"A Margarita for me." Hmm, not willing to get too drunk too fast huh?

"I don't want to get tipsy…yet." That's my girl. Look at how we agree on everything.

"Two Margaritas." I order to the tall barwoman and she raises her wand.

"So tell me about you." I know, that's lame! But I'm never good at starting a conversation. However I'm good at finishing one…And that's a promise.

"Well, I've just come home from France where I had spent the last two years studying." Oh, please tell me she's not a bookworm like _her_.

"Studying? What?" Please not journalism…

"Defense Against the Dark Arts actually but I've dropped the class. Never fancied reading you see." Ok, I think I'm gonna make a happy dance now!

"Yeah, I know what you mean." I smirk her way. I really do know what she means.

"And you? Besides working in Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes , that is." Me? Well, I'm stuck with an unbelievably annoying, evil girlfriend that makes my life a living hell. Plus if she didn't exist in my life I would be kissing you now. Not talking.

"I've got an apartment in Tuckberry Alley , which I share with Julia. Also, I love Quidditch." She looks amazed.

"So you are _the_ Potter?" Crap . And I thought she cared about me for a moment. She's no better than _her_.

"No. That's my dad. _Harry_ Potter." I stress it as much as I can. I can never escape my name can I?

"No! I mean… yes, but I meant you are _the_ James Potter." Ok, I'm not following.

"You know me?" I mumble. Weird. I'm nothing important.

"The Seeker. Captain of the Gryffindor Team for three years. Won the Cup six years in a row." Well, that does sound _like _me… But how is that important?

"Yes, that's me." I drink my third Margarita and stare at her.

"I've read about you." Read about me? How come?

"Really?" Crap. That was unexpected.

"But , yes. You're quite a star you see. The best Teenage Seeker of the last fifty years, that's how Witches Weekly called you." Serious? I had no idea. Well, that might be because I don't read such magazines…

"Wow, I had no idea I was so famous." She giggles. I know, I'm so funny. Another Margarita?

I knew it…

"And you? What are you famous for?" Now that's what I call a pick-up line. Oh, wait. I said nothing was going to happen till I break up with _her_.

Well, don't pay attention to my comments then. It's the Margaritas speaking.

"Nothing…" She blushes. Timid she is.

"But of course you must be famous for something. Your beauty for example." Now she's all mine.

Oook, I should stop drinking now it's messing me up.

"You think I'm pretty?" Now, listen here girl. I never lie. Ok… maybe I lie sometimes but never in those matters.

"Pretty? No! Stunning is more like it." I grin. I so have her.

"Lets dance." She exclaims suddenly and I don't protest.

Slow song too? She chose a slow song? That girl is cleverer than she lets out. I'm sure of it now.

She puts her hands around my neck and I feel much better. I hold her waist in mines and we begin to move slowly. She's a good dancer. She twists now and…ow. Ends up crushing in my chest. Bad idea. After ten Margaritas this a _very _bad idea.

She turns and looks up at me with those innocent eyes of hers. Ok…now I can dance no more. I'm frozen to the spot.

"Julia is your girlfriend isn't she?" She whispers and I feel her breath in my face. Crap, crap , crap. She is.

I have a girlfriend. Don't forget. I have a girlfriend. But you hate her. A little voice pops up in my head. Yes, but I'm not a cheater. Never was. Yes, but she hates you too. The voice continues. I know but still…

"Yes." Now the moment's gone. She'll leave now. For sure.

But she does no such thing. Peculiar.

"She not around though is she?" Well, if you put it that way…

"No." I say slowly , carefully inspecting her with my eyes. She doesn't seem discouraged at all.

"Good." Man! What is she-? This is gonna leave a bruise. But, who cares? She's kissing me. Wow, she knows what she's doing. I respond and now we share a rather deep kiss.

It feels…different. _She_ doesn't kiss me that way. _Her_ kiss is more … intimate and still more demanding than this. Mandy's more out-spoken about it. Mandy wants to kiss me and she does so. No shame or regret. No expectations either.

Whereas _she-_ _she_ acts like she can't help it but kiss me. Hey! Why am I thinking of her now?

Now that I have a great girl in my arms snogging me like there's no tomorrow. There must be something really wrong with me.

"James." What? Oh, it's Mandy.

See? My mood got worst just by thinking of _her_. And imagine that _her_ kiss is one of her best qualities.

"I think there is someone staring at us." Who? Merlin let it not be _her _friends.

I swift my gaze from the pretty blonde in my arms and search the crowd. First I see brown hair, tied up. Then a blue dress and under it thin legs. Crossed arms. A small figure altogether. Hmm, what's that?

Oh, these Margaritas are killing me… And… a familiar face. Grey eyes… No, red eyes… Blood-shot eyes. Wait! NO.

That can't be. I am the unluckiest wizard this world has ever met. Not _her_. Please, please let it be a nightmare…

It's not.

Damn it , it's not. I look at _her_ intently then back at Mandy who seems way too cool about it. Why is she cool? Crap, forget it.

Julia turns her back at us and heads to the door.

"Let her go James. She got the message." Mandy? When exactly did she start being such a bitch? Oh, screw her.

I push her back quickly and rush to the door too. I will say I'm sorry but it is over. Yes! That's exactly what I'll say. She doesn't deserve my apology of course but …I would feel guilty if I didn't apologize. But after that… I'm breaking up.

Maybe this scene wasn't that bad after all. At least she would get the…message, as Mandy so heartlessly put it.

Which is,

I don't like her. I don't care for her. To me she doesn't even exist.

Not anymore.

A/N: Sad , sad , sad I know!

But please don't lose your hope!

**Ok, listen how it goes. **

**There will be a lot of trouble for James for one or two chapter more. But before the end he will get things right I promise! Fall in love and all. Mandy wasn't good enough. **

You'll just have to trust me on this.

**I love you all , don't hesitate to review**

Kisses and Hugs,

Sarah


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hello everybody.

Thanks , Thanks , Thanks for the comments and for reading!!!

Once again a super-fast update!

Now let me say that it's just because I have two weeks free at the moment soon I'm back to school and very pressed so ,

Enjoy!

**Chapter 4: ****The 'even if' list**

I am brave. Do you hear me Merlin? I am! You can keep sending shit in my way and I'll keep sending them back to you tied in a red ribbon. Got it?

Cause I can do anything. I can climb a mountain barefoot , I can fight a dragon without a wand , I can kiss a Dementor goodnight, I can even play wizarding chess with a troll and lose. Not to mention that I can _surely_ break up with my intolerable girlfriend who just caught me kissing another girl.

Yes, yes, I can.

Even if she swears at me and she calls me a bastard.

Even if she hexes me to oblivion afterwards.

Even if she starts crying and begging me to come back.

Even, if, and I repeat, _even_ if she kisses me and does all her tricks.

After tonight I will be a free man. Trust me when I say this. I am done losing. Now things will go my way. My bloody way. Not hers.

Now that I've seen how nice life would be without her I'm not turning back. From now on I'll be able to date and go out and have fun.

I walk quickly past some dancing couples and I go out of the bar. Oh , there she is, just a few steps away. I stretch out my hand and catch hers . But suddenly I notice a wand in her fist. Crap she's Apparating.

Indeed.

The darkness of the night revolves around us and finally disappears to give its place to a half-lit room. My apartment. On, no. This is a very bad place to try and talk to her.

Actually it is the worst. Cause in here it's just the two of us. It is my logic against her passion. My reasoning fighting her challenge. Or, more simply, me against her.

And usually… _she_ wins.

But not this time. Remember I can break up with her, even if she insults me , even if she curses my eyes off, even if she kisses me senseless and so on…You've heard before of my 'even if' list . Haven't you?

She takes a step towards me and I sense the blood draining from my veins. Here we are once more. Me standing in the doorframe and she trying to seduce me. Feels like a terrible déjà vu . Doesn't it?

I know it does.

However, this time I won't end up sleeping with her. No. I will end up free.

I take a deep breath and prepare myself for a new 'love-attack' from her side. And I wait. I wait. I wait. Hmmm. What's wrong Julia? Not in a mood tonight?

Wait and wait and wait. Why doesn't she make her move so that I can cast her away and finish this? Why? Is this a new type of 'love-attack'? The 'ambush-him-when-he-thinks-you-won't love-attack' or something? Sure hope not.

Still waiting…

She's just staring at me with her blood-shot eyes. Just staring. But not like Mandy. No. Julia's stares are more painful to me. It's like she's helpless. Helpless! Merlin listen to what I am saying.

Julia…helpless. I think now it is finally established. I am mental. I have reached this state of mind where all reason and sense are gone. I am in fact finding her helpless. No! James get a grip. You've got to tell her now!

It's your final chance. Judging by her surprisingly scared and up-tight manner it might actually be your _only _chance.

Right!

"I'm sorry for what you saw back there, Julia." Damn! What are you saying? Sorry? You were going for a break up, remember? Not, a reunion.

"I mean I'm sorry for myself. Not you." Now that should surprise her. I stop for a moment and observe. No. Nope, no reaction. Oh, whatever.

"Cause, naturally I don't do stuff like that." I take a deep breath. Time to say the truth.

"But you see I can't help it in this case. And you know why?" Her grey, almond eyes are practically pinned on me. However she does nothing to stop me. No motion to show , love , hatred, anger. It seems to me she got stunned.

"Because I hate you. Yes, Julia I do. And you know I do, but you don't let me break up with you!" A tear rolls down her cheek. No, no James. It's just a trick . Don't fall for it. What's wrong with you? You never believed her fake tears before.

"But I've had enough. It's over. It's been that way for a long time and I won't waste any more of my life pretending it isn't." She looks down now. Is that shame I see? The liar.

"Oh, how dare you put out such an act about it? Like you care. Like you ever did! If you think that I'll feel sorry for you and change my mind then you are mistaken." I take a big breath. I have no idea what I am saying anymore. My brain screams at me and I scream at her.

"I told you. I hate you. I hate how you always ignore me. How you introduce me to your friends like I'm some sort of trophy. How you prefer to stay in and work, for Merlin's sake, work, instead of going out with me." That's right. It is harsh I know, but she's acted way worst to me. She deserves it. Every little bit of it. Every single word.

"And if you think I am finished, then you are more than wrong. I can keep adding reasons why I hate you but it will probably take us all night." I cannot believe it. She hasn't said one word. Not one. What on earth is the matter with her? She looks like…like she's just listening. No effort to retort.

Has she really nothing to say? What ? Now she agrees with me? Ridiculous.

"So I'll just sum it up. I hate you because I know you hate me and yet you won't let me go." My head is significantly better now. All cleared up. Probably cause I said it all. Nothing more to add.

Or maybe there is. Just one last bit that has to be established. One small detail.

"So will you let me go Julia? Cause I need to and so do you." Oh, shit what's that pain? I feel a twitch in my stomach. An awful sharp ache.

"Okay." Excuse me?! Was this really her? 'Okay'? Okay about what? Oh! I see. I guess it is my time to stare.

Nothing. This four letter word must be all she wanted to say. Another tear escapes her eye. And then another. And another…

I must leave this place. Now. I'm suffocating here. She's killing me. Didn't I say she would be the end of me? Damn it , I did. But who listens to me? Noone.

I turn my back to her. She says nothing.

I open the door. She says nothing.

I leave the room. She says nothing.

I close the door behind me. She says nothing.

I stand in the corridor. She says nothing.

I put out my wand and Apparate. Still nothing.

Just 'Okay' and she ends it. Not a 'screw you'. Not a 'please stay' .

Not _one_ goodbye.

But who cares?

I am free. Like I said I would be. Hell! I am single again! I've actually made it. This is a miracle. She can no longer destroy my life. Cause I'm free from her. I can do anything I want.

I can pull pranks, I can get drunk, I can party. I can even purchase a dragon from uncle-Charlie without asking a living soul! And most importantly I can go back to Amortentia and kiss any girl I want without feeling any guilt. You know one of those girls that actually like me. One of those girls that begged me to date them.

Merlin! I feel so…

I feel so…so…so…

Empty.

A/N: In case you haven't realized I am _so_ torturing him. He was quite mean to Julia now wasn't he?

Anyway. Thing get clearer next chapter.

I hope you liked it.

PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW!!

People I won't lie. I am a review addict. I can't live without reviews. I think I should go see a specialist or something…

Love ya all a lot!!

Your disturbed friend,

Sarah

**PS: Yes!!! He will fall in love. Do not worry he will…**** Next chapter actually!**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Ok, it took just a bit longer than it usually does to post-up but truth be told I'm into a new story!!!

**And it is Rose/Scorpius for all of you who asked me to write this pairing go and check out ****Letters to Merlin ****from my profile **

Anyway back to dear James now.

I own nothing, naturally and

Enjoy!

**Chapter 5****: Something Very Wrong**

Life is great. Life is an endless adventure. Life is a tale of pranks and parties and flirts and all kinds of fun. Or at least that's how my life has been for the past three weeks.

Since I broke up with Julia that is. Since I left her apartment I have been a free , worries-less man. And making the best of it I must confess. I have missed many things for those past nine months and I am planning on making up for it now.

Actually I have already begun making up for it. I have slept with more than ten girls for the past three weeks . I have been drunk and partying every night. I have moved to the apartment over uncle-George's shop in Diagon Alley.

So I have now my own space. A place where I can put my collection of snitches in the walls. Where I can decorate the floor with my Quidditch magazines. Where I will never use lavender soap to wash the dishes. Oh wait! I don't use dishes anyway! Pizzas are eaten plate-free. Remember? Aha! That's the spirit.

All in all the great life of a great man. And if for instance I decide to stay in for one night there are always my mates that will visit to talk of Quittich and girls and get wasted.

Paradise.

"Ok, mate what's wrong with you?" Oh, erm, Scorpius's here. Hmm, I forgot.

"What do you mean?" I have no idea what is he implying. I am a happy man ok?

"What do I mean? You must be kidding me. You're like a bloody zombie." Zombie? Don't listen to the idiot people. I am perfectly well.

"I am just fine. Awesome actually." Exactly!

"Yes, sure. Cause it is perfectly normal to skip work for days, get wasted every night and avoid daylight like -as I said before- a zombie. Not to mention live in a place like this. Full of rubbish and pizza that smells at least a week old." Nonsense. Just because I am overdoing it a bit with parties and stay all day in cause I'm hang-over that doesn't mean…

"That doesn't mean that I'm not ok. I'm just celebrating my single-ness." Damn right I am.

"Really? Well, then why does it look like you are mourning?" Mourning? Mourning people do not go to parties. Are we clear?

"Sure , I am mourning whilst dancing in 'Crux'." I say sarcastically to my delusional-friend.

"No, you are depressing your eyes off whilst getting awfully drunk in 'Curx'." Lies, lies. Rumors.

"Crap Scorpius, you are nuts. I am just fine. I got what I wanted didn't I ?" Didn't I ?

"Doubtful." He's fucking kidding me isn't he?

"What? Why is it doubtful?" I just wonder what his joke of a mind has thought again.

"Man, I know you for, what ten years, eleven years? I can tell you are miserable." I gape at him. You people just…don't listen to him.

"I am not!" I protest mildly.

"Well , if you just try a bit harder you might in fact persuade a tree year old." Sarcasm huh? I taught him that! The prick is using my weapons against me!

"What exactly is it that you want Scorp?" Mess my life I bet. Mess my perfect life.

"I want you to admit it. You are miserable." I cross my hands at this.

"Fine. If that will make you stop nagging my ears off." I still support my former statement. I am just great.

"Good and now can you please tell me the reason?" You mean the reason why I am miserable? The one that doesn't exist cause I. Am. Not. Miserable. ?

"Since you know me so well why don't you just guess?" Two can play the sarcasm game you know.

"Oh, you got this all wrong James. _I _know the answer , you are the one blind enough to ignore it. You have to say it out loud so that you can hear it and accept it." Filthy psychology.

"Nothing to say." I insist. I am great. Didn't just spoke about the parties and the girls and my new place? Didn't he hear? Is he bloody men-…

Crap! He punched me! That hurt. Crap, crap, crap. That was freaking painful. Painful like… breaking up with her.

Oh, fine ! Fine. I am miserable . Fucking depressed I am. Happy now?

"You are disturbed Scorp, has nobody told you before? Why did you punch me?"

"You deserved it. Needed a blow to regain your self-consciousness." Damn right I did.

"I am a bloody fool." I blurt out suddenly.

Ok, I guess I owe you an explanation.

Yes, I did lie before, when I said I was happy . I am not.

It is terribly mental of me , I know , but I have regretted it. I miss her. I fucking miss her. With her annoyed looks , with her know-it-all expressions with her …with her perfect grey eyes. Oh, crap I can't even recite her flaws without thinking how nice she is.

I know I was bugging you for days saying how I hate her and how unbelievably devious she is but I was wrong! Bloody oblivious that's what I had been for the past five moths. I had to go and insult her like she was some sort of murderer and ditch her to figure it out. Pathetic right?

I mean, I guess she really _did _hate me . That, I cannot question. Yet as far as _I_ am concerned no matter what she does I cannot hate her. Not really.

I can pretend I hate her. I can act hatefully , I can speak in disgust about her and I can surely cheat on her. I have proved the above points already.

But, however unfortunate that might be, I am unable to really honestly wholeheartedly hate her. Pity then that I realized so , right after we broke up.

"I love her , mate." Julia of course. I don't think I need to explain that.

"Just six weeks ago weren't you telling me and Rose how you hated her?" Good question.

"Well , that's why I said I was a fool. I thought I hated her for a very long time. And that the only thing I could do was ditch her." I take a big breath and continue. "Needless to say I was wrong." Finally I let out all my terrible mood.

"And you did? If you had known you lov-…" Is he kidding me?

"Had I known I wouldn't have done it mate. I am not so mental. I realized it the moment I got out of our apartment." I sign at this. How can you be sure of one thing for weeks and months and in just one single minute you change your mind? Everything you were positive about vanishing and being replaced by this other feeling. And the worst part?

This feeling is not new. I know it. I discovered it long ago. When I first met her in those Quidditch try-outs last year. And it was there, the feeling I mean, when I asked her out first time, and when I first kissed her and when I invited her over my place for the first time and when I visited her at work for the first time.

Not to mention that it was also there when we had out first fight. And it was there when she ignored me for the first time and when I first thought I hated her.

So finally this hurtful and tense, euphoric feeling has never left me for one year. And sadly it choose to reveal itself at the moment when it was totally useless for me.

Cause I had already done something wrong. Something _very_ wrong…

"Utter luck that was." Tell me about it mate…

"Aha… And wanna hear the highlight of the story?" He nods. "I think I never stopped loving her. I just didn't get it before." He seems willing to bump his head in a wall . Exactly my reaction.

"Then the whole break-up was a mistake." He states more than asks but I won't argue.

"A big one." A huge one even…

"Then go and fix this before it is too late." Ohoho, how easy he makes it sound.

"Listen mate. Just because I love her that doesn't mean she does so too." I sigh , again.

"But it was her that did all those _stuff_ to keep you. " Oh, he means the kissing and snogging and ..ehem the other things…

"Firstly I can seriously question her motives about the whole 'keep me' thing. She might want us to be together but I doubt that she wants it because she loves me. Plus even if some miracle occurred and she _did_ like me, after what I told her that day she certainly doesn't." Sigh , sigh , sigh. Life sucks . My life in fact is like hell at the moment. And all because of me.

"What could you possibly have done?" My blonde friend stares at me incredulously. If only he knew…

"First I cheated on her and then I told her I hate her and that it was all her fault. The rest of my monologue consisted only of reasons _why_ I hate her so." Right. Yes, be amazed at my stupidity mate. Just don't open your eyes so wide cause they might pop out of their sockets sometime soon.

"You cheated ?" Finally , he spoke . I thought he was having an immovable fit like Julia had when …Oh, why did that had to come to mind now?

"It was just a kiss. I was out with this girl, Mandy from work…" Ok , that approach I took probably freaked him out more.

"You went out on a date?" No! I did not!

"We went out for a drink. It was no date." I explain taking a step backwards. Why does he have to be so bloody noble?

"Still you kissed the girl. That makes it a date." Does not!

"I was wasted and she practically attacked me." I moan.

"Fine then. But how did Juls found out?" Now that is _not_ something I want to relive.

"She sort of saw us kissing." I suck , I suck , I suck…I know!

"You suck, man." I KNOW !

"Tell me about it. And on top of that I blamed it all on her. All of it." Remember when I told you I felt like bumping my head on a wall at first? Well, the feeling slowly returns.

"You are a real jerk." Ok , that is not Scorp. Why, yes! Who else could it be other than my dear cousin.

"You brought her with you?" I stare accusingly at my friend.

"She was worried so we came together." A bit too satisfied with ourselves aren't we?

"How long have you been eavesdropping Rosie?" I ask defeated.

"Long enough to say this and mean it: 'you are a jerk'." I nod a miserable nod. I am.

"Yet he cannot stay in here forever. He has to go and apologize and ask for a second chance. He really does love her." Yes! But how can I? I was a real bastard last time.

"And why should poor Julia put up with him? He messed up big time." Rosie replies to her boyfriend instead of me. Quite correctly too.

"But he loves her and I gather that so does she. I mean she did use some very dirty tricks to keep him." Scorp stares at her exasperated.

"After what he said I doubt it. Plus he was a real prat, so even if she does have some feelings left it might be better for her to stay away." Is it me or is my cousin taking her side? Then again if I wasn't me, I would take her side too.

"She started it all however. Being hostile and distant." Oh! So there is in fact something to support my case. That was unexpected… Thanks Scorp.

"Does hostility and distance compare with cheating and insulting?" Ok, back to no arguments for my defense. In addition I'm starting to get scared for those two. Do you think that I might ruin their relationship together with mine?

"He messed up I know Rose, but then again who doesn't? _Mess up_ I mean." He gives her a loving smile and all tension is gone. If there was some hidden meaning behind his words I surely didn't get it. Rose on the other hand…

She smiles back a knowing smile and hugs him.

"Sorry to interrupt but…" I say hesitantly.

"Look James, you screwed up royally and you need to fix it ok?" When exactly did _she _start supporting me?

Oh, whatever…

"And how am I going to do this?" I still think it is impossible.

"Prove her you can change. Be who you _can_ be." Rose advises. Someone better than a shop assistant who cheats on his great girlfriend huh?

"Talk to her." Sorpius says. I still remember that day back in school when it was me who gave him the same advice. Worked greatly too. Seeing them hugging and kissing I have to admit it.

"I'll do both." Damn right I will. I hurt her and now it's time I make up for it. And if she hates me like I suspect then fine. I'll live with it.

Cause I simply cannot live without her.

"Throw away that musty pizzas first will you?" They just had to ruin the moment…

A/N: So what do you think?

He did find someone to love did he not?

So review people!!!!

I live on those…

Honestly now you have no idea what pleasure it is to receive a review….

Anyway ,

Kisses and Hugs

Sarah


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Ok, in case you haven't noticed updates take a little longer now cause I'm back to school. Sniff , sniff.

I so love you for the reviews, they make my day. **Keep reviewing.**

Anyway, another chapter, and we're getting close to the end…

Three more chapters…

Well,

Enjoy!

**Chapter 6:**** Seeing things**

I was once one of those people who made fun of sayings and quotes. I used to roll my eyes when someone said things like 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'.

I always thought quotes like this sounded ridiculous. I mean you could simply say, 'don't consider something done until you see the results'.

It is a simple as that. Why do we have to overcomplicate stuff by bringing chicken and all sorts of animals in? Just wondering…

Plus it is an obvious disparagement of animals that have to put up with all this criticism.

Yet, no matter how I disagreed with those saying during the past twenty three years of my life, I could not but admit that, yes, for the past eight months I had been, as blind as a bat, bird-brained, for sure, and acting like an ape.

And no, these are not my words. They are my cousin Fred's. You see I owled him, as I said I would, even though Rosie and her dear boyfriend had already persuaded me to go and talk to Julia before I got his reply.

So, I wrote to my favorite of all the cousins and got, this short yet concise letter back.

'You stupid, oblivious, troll-like, black sheep of the whole Weasley clan,

How could you be so brainless as to misunderstand your own feelings? I mean, usually people mistake other people's feelings not their own, you prat! Is this joke of a mind you've got capable to produce only pranks?

I left you alone with this love-struck son of yours for just a year and you have already messed up like hell. And wait till I get Rosie! You and Scorp are pricks, I knew that, but I expected some reason from her. But what can I say? Monkey see, monkey do.

I feel utter pity for this poor soul you fell in love with. Julia right? And I wonder: How on earth did she put up with you for so long? And on top of that you insulted her that way? Had it been me you would be dead and gone by now.

Plus If I didn't know what a charmer you can be I would say your beating a dead horse here but … Not that I think you should use your charm in this case. No. No bloody way James. Just be honest and pray to Merlin's best pair of jeans that she forgives you.

And be quick. I bet that smart girls like her don't wait for the only guy who broke up with them by saying he hates them to repent. She will soon be on her feet. So move your arse down there and win her over.

I am coming back in a week by the way. Yeah, you can cry now. Somebody needs to seriously put you back on the track. Working with dad I heard. Are you freaking mental?

I mean this was never what you wanted. What happened with all the 'quiddtich star' plans? You are a born Seeker, why on earth would you give that up?

Oh, wait till I come!

Stay alive for a week more you, bird-brained, ape-like, bat

Will you?

Mother'

I sighed as I re-re-re-read Fred's letter. He said the exact thing Scorp and Rosie had said even though his manner was more my type. The conclusion being, I had to act now. Before she found herself a new, better boyfriend.

Brr, I shiver only in the thought.

It has been only three days since I made my love-declaration to my two mates, ok, mate and cousin. But who cares?

Thing is, since that day I am racking my brains to find something to tell her. I was once great with words but now I cannot possibly come up with something smart enough for her. Damn.

Couldn't I find a stupid little giggler to fall for? No I had to go and love one of the best journalists this country has ever met. Cause she is one awesome journalist. I had heard people talking about it in the past and I doubted it. Seeing as I thought I hated her and all.

But now that I've finally persuaded myself to read her column I see it. I see why she spent all her day reading and writing. Why she hardly ever got out with me. Actually I wonder how she ever got out from her office in the first place.

Cause those things that she writes are magic.

I know how 'magic' is hardly a word to describe an article but it is the only thing that comes to mind when you read her texts. Something magical taking over you. Like she's next to you and whispering those things in your ears. Like those things she describes come to life in front of you.

I live in the Wizarding world since I was born and I don't believe I have ever felt this sense of wonder before. Her words are magic to me. I feel them, being thrust upon me. I see them in my dreams, I hear them as I walk in the street.

And I repeat them in my head as I walk up her stairs.

I stiffen up and take a big breath. It is now or never. She has to know and I've got to tell her. If she says she loves me too, out of some miracle, then I'll be the happiest man on earth. And if she confirms my thought that she detests me , then I will leave miserable. Yet it will be my fair share of misery won't it?

I feel like throwing up as I knock the door. In case you think nausea before a confession stops after some certain age and after a certain amount of girls then you are wrong.

It doesn't. I am living proof of this statement.

The door opens up slowly and I come to face a thin face, almond grey eyes with black circles under them. It's her. I feel like smiling. I have seriously missed her.

She seems different though. Her hair is messed up and she is not fully dressed. She's wearing a long blue shirt that is obviously not hers and a pair of boxers.

Usually she's not so… Oh, what am I thinking now? I came here to talk not stare.

"Why?" What why you jerk? Very clever!

"Why , what?" She sounds surprised , yet her eyes get just a bit darker. She makes no motion to invite me in either. Of courser I don't see why she would do such a thing anyway. You treated her like hell remember?

Yeah, right!

"Why did this happen?" I ask weakly. I know I probably look terrible at the moment. I haven't slept for I don't even know how long and I have given up on pizzas which had been my only food lately. So now I live on…well nothing.

"I think you made that clear last time. You hate me. I disgust you and it is all my fault." I said all this? Yeah, right. Now that you mention it… Oh, crap. It is already too late.

"I meant why did we fell apart in the first place? Why did we come to hate each other?" I feel the weight of our last confrontation returning. My shoulders are heavy and I feel suddenly powerless. I wish I could just tell her I love her and that I would die for her and be done with this torture.

But I guess this torture is not supposed to be over yet. I hurt her , so she deserves to hurt me too.

"This question is wrong." She states grimly . "I never hated you. It was you who hated me." Oh, sweet Merlin!

"Fine. I get it. It was all my fault. Agreed. But…"My voice trails off at the fiery look I see appearing in her yes.

"It was all the way around last time. Last time it was all _my _fault." There she goes bringing back that day. That day I finally found a reason to hate _myself_.

"I was wrong. I was a bloody fool then." She stares at me , a sarcastic smile hanging on her beautiful lips.

"And now you have changed." She states, sarcasm still evident. Her grey eyes are narrowed and I see trouble in them.

"I have seen things straight, yes." I reply bravely. If I ever was a Gryffindor it is now time to prove it.

"Oh, really?" I gulp at her answer. She doesn't even pause to consider if I am telling the truth. To her it is a lost cause. I can tell.

"Yes. And the thing is, Julia, I love you." She looks dumbfounded. Hadn't I been present in this conversation, I could easily assume someone had just stabbed her in the heart. Or so it appears. She opens her eyes wide and takes a step backwards.

I really want to step closer and catch her but I hesitate.

Yet, soon enough her expression changes from shock to anger and sarcastic amusement.

"Now, that is strange. Some weeks ago didn't you admit hating me? Enjoying cheating on me?" It is her that comes closer to me, a threatening light in her eyes.

I daren't move. Whatever she says I deserve it. Whatever she does, I will accept.

"Tell me didn't you, James?" Ouch! That hurt. A tremendous pain creeps from my stomach to my chest and to my throat. I think I might choke…

Ok… no… Still alive.

But for how long you might wonder… Beats me.

"I did." I finally exclaim when she is mere inches from me.

Then the weirdest thing happens to me.

I feel this unexplained urge to stop talking and just kiss her. Show her all that I feel now. All that I've been feeling.

And it hits me like a tone of bricks.

How oblivious could I possibly be?

All this time I was wondering why on earth she snogged me to keep me from ditching her. Now I see it. We have this inexplicable inability to commute our feelings, the two of us.

But that has to change now. Now!

"Then what is it that you want now?" Hmm, I want to tell you I love you. I want us to get back together. I want to correct everything I've done wrong. I want to understand. I want to spend the rest of my life with you…

Ok, wait, what? Rewind.

Did I really say, I want to spend the rest of my life with her?

Crap. Damn well, I did.

And you know what?

No regrets here.

"I want you to talk to me. Explain to me, why did you do this." She sends me an accusing look but then drops it. She knows I am right. Even _I_ know I am right and I am, as I said previously, as blind as a bat.

"You seriously have no clue, do you?" None whatsoever.

"I was scared James. Scared of you. Scared you might do exactly what you did. I knew from day one I was so-… so little for you. I knew you would see it too one day and give up on me." This is a bloody joke right? She is little for me? I bloody work in a shop. I am less than average concerning brains and I am most certainly a looser. Messed up antics and all.

How could _she_ be little for me?

I stare at her in utter surprise. That I did not expect.

A tear rolls down her cheek and again I sense the desire to touch her.

No. Nope James. Talk.

"You were never little for me. If one of us deserved more that would have to be you." I admit. And I just realize I am using past tense.

But she is not looking at me now. The floor must be a lot more appealing.

"Don't say that James. We both know it is untrue. We both now the only reason you stayed with me was cause I never let you break up. _That_ must have been our only bond." I feel that choking in my throat once again. The pain in my chest returning.

I thought so for a long time. But now I know better.

Cause for those past weeks, I didn't miss _that_.

I missed her smile. I missed her reading her book by the fire. I missed her holding my hand to Apparate. I missed her penetrating grey pools.

_Snogging _I guess was the last thing in my list.

"If that was true then I wouldn't be here now." I whisper and I see a pair of fresh tears coming from her eyes.

"Then are you here to torture me?" She whispers back and looked away. I sighed at this. I knew I was… how did Fred put it? Beating a dead horse.

"No. I am here so that you can torture me. If you wish to. I am here to apologize and…" Suddenly she looks back up at my eyes. No judgment left in her look.

"…And tell you that I love you. More than I ever loved anyone. And it is not a new feeling either. I know now that I felt it long ago. I felt it the first time I saw you in that pitch during my try-outs. Before we even talk. I saw your passionate eyes and it hit me hard. I loved you then and I still do." I take a deep breath.

"I know I was a bastard when we were together. I know I treated you badly and I acted like a child. But truth is, the pain of knowing you don't love me is something unbearable. So I made sure I hate you. In a way I am a coward, I guess." My monologues suck. That is from now on, a fact. I have absolutely no sense in those things.

"I-I …" She seems lost for words. It is the first time I daresay I see her so freaked out.

"And knowing how pointless that might be I risk to ask you, will you give me a second chance? I can no longer pretend to hate you so you will have all the chances on earth to pay me back for what I did to you." I move closer to her never leaving her face. If I happen to trip it will be a damn misfortune, yet I am incapable of looking away from her.

Or not so…

I raise my eyes from her tearful ones and shoot a quick look at the apartment whose existence I had just realized. And suddenly a new existence comes to light.

Is there someone in here? I scrutinize the room with my eyes.

However it is my ears that make the discovery.

"Hey, Juls, baby, I am out going out to get some food ok?" Merlin, shoot me now! Now. On the spot.

Had my life been a mirror now you would be hearing 'cracks'.

Wood. Grey bloody Wood. Half-naked in _our_ apartment. I see now.

The oversized shirt, the boxers. It all fits.

The choking is back once more, more violent than before. I almost press my hands in my stomach so that it might stop hurting.

I give him a short sharp glare but I don't care about him anymore. My attention is back on her. But there is nothing to wait for now.

She made her answer clear enough.

Damn it.

"James, I -…" She drowns a sob as she says this and I understand now how I can never hate her. I can't stop loving her no matter what she does.

So what if I feel betrayed? Love is love. It's not going anywhere.

And how I know it now, you might wonder.

Well, cause I still feel this urge to hug her.

Hug her?

I shiver at the thought. I will never get to hug her again. Maybe I will never get to see her either.

"I see now." I say dismissing her explanation. "No. Don't explain to me. I deserve this." I truly do.

"Just take care of yourself and be happy. I , for my part will never stop loving you, but that will have to stay as it is." I stare at her beautiful features for what is probably the last time. Then I turn my back quickly.

If I stay any longer I might collapse in the middle of her living-room.

_Her _living-room! It is n longer ours.

"Goodbye Julia." I breathe defeated.

After that it all came in a blur.

How I returned home walking. How I got wasted over reading her texts. How I made a mess of my place, I cannot tell.

The first straight thing I got that night was, four hours later, when the door opened abruptly.

"I'm back! Jamie I'm back home! Mother is-…" I found myself on the floor half-unconscious and my lifelong friend eyeing me and the room amazed.

"What the hell happened here? What the hell happened to _you_?" I am a mess.

"I am a mess." I mouth.

"Tell me about it." Says Fred.

A/N: Ok, last notice! This is the last sad chapter of this story! Hurray!

From now on only good stuff.

Don't give up on Julia either…

I love ya all

Sorry for taking so long

Kisses

Sarah


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Well, before I forget it lots of love to all of you for reading and reviewing this story

And … a special thanks to Lady Adriane of Katherine, Funeral of a Friend for their reviews _and_ of course… jasmineflower27 who is a great supporter for me in everything I write.

Actually at the moment I am missing on a very interesting (boooring) chapter of history.

Ok, my apologies. I know it took me quite a while but I have exams this month so I m reading every single day.

But never mind I really wish to finish this story so…

Enjoy!

**Chapter 7: Trying-Out**

I have to move forward. Yeah, people that was exactly my cousin's advice. My cousin Fred's that is . You know I always try to be clear with the whole cousin thing since just the title 'my cousin' has caused trouble to me more than once.

For example, Hogwarts seventh year. I was telling Jessica Vine that Hugo fancied her. So I was like 'Hey, Jess! My cousin likes you.' And she was like 'Sorry Potter but I'm into boys. Plus Rose has a guy of her own if I am not mistaken.'

Then again, this 'my family is all over the place' situation has its good sides too. Like that one time when I was only seven. 'James Sirius please tell me who broke Granma's vase?' My mom asked and I –making puppy eyes- said 'My cousin did!' My beloved mother wanted to kill me. Ha!

Ok, I am so off topic at the moment but you see, Fred says I have to distract myself with unimportant details to feel better. He says I'll probably go nuts if I keep thinking of her. Hmm… Well, yeah…

No.

Not working.

"You're just not trying hard enough." I hear my best friend plus fave cousin mumble from under his covers. Or actually _my_ covers , since he is at the moment staying at my place. Or to be more precise, my uncle-George's covers, cause after all this is the apartment _he_ is lending me.

Again trying –unsuccessfully- to distract myself.

"Wha-?" I ask still half-wasted in twelve o'clock the day after … The day after I... Crap I still can't say it.

The day after I told her I love her. The day after I begged her to forgive me. The day after I understood how she really felt. The day after she slept with someone else.

I'm a Drama Queen. So what? I mean I just lost the woman I love. Show some mercy. Some tolerance.

"You're still thinking of her. You're not trying hard enough to distract yourself." Like it is easy. Plus it has only been fifteen hours since the incident. It's not like years have passed. Well, truth be told even if they do I will probably be like this but … Just don't tell Fred.

"I am. It's just not working. I mean she's the only person I ever really loved. The only one I ever will probably, so give me a break mother." I reply his way and he stands up rapidly.

"Man… I will never get used to hear you say this. With Scorp it was different. I expected him to but you… Merlin this way maybe even _I _will fall in love one day." He makes an attempt to cheer me up. Yeah… no. Nothing.

"Well, if you are planning on ending it like son then it's a good thing. But if you pan on messing up like me, then don't even think about falling in love." Fred looks at me with a weird look on his blue eyes.

"Looking on the bright side James, I have never seen you so serious before." Yeah, yeah, I've grown up to be a mature, serious bastard.

"Cause it was really mature to cheat on her and make myself believe I hate her." I exclaim half-sarcastically , half-disgusted.

"No. But it was really mature to go ahead and explain yourself and be polite even when you saw … whatever you saw." He stumbles at the last part. And I won't mention what part. You know and I know you know so don't make me say it.

"And what does it matter that I am acting properly now? Now she's not here to see it." Anger rises inside me suddenly. I don't really know why. Maybe the irony of the whole situation…

"What's the point of being good when I can't make _her_ happy?" I scream outraged at Fred. He shoots me an apprehensive look and rests silent.

"What do I do now mate?" I sigh defeated after a while. Any ideas? Anyone?

"I suppose moving on is out of the question. So… I would suggest , to find a new purpose." A new purpose? Erm, seeing as I am really dense could somebody explain to me …

"I mean, something to do James. Something you like. Something you can excel at." Hohoho. That's a good one! Something, I, James Potter, can excel at. Hmm, let me think.

I could become a professional looser and gain lots of money. Or I could get a degree at 'Obliviology' , the art of being perfectly oblivious about important matters. And after all I always have the throne of Too-Late-To-Be-Mature' country waiting for me.

All occupations with excellent prospective.

But let's be serious here.

"I am practically incapable of being good at something Fred. No question about being excellent." Hey! Why is he ignoring me? What is he thinking that is so important?

"You could try Quidditch." He finally shouts victoriously. Ok, that is true. I mean if I was ever relatively good at anything that would be Quidditch.

"In case you have forgotten I was turned down the last time I tried out." Of course at the time I didn't really mind cause, well I was in love but…No chances about that now.

"That was two years ago. Plus you were somewhat busy at the time and you sorta messed up. Remember?" Yes, I remember. I was staring at her. Admiring her.

I sigh at the thought and my friend seems regretful.

"Oh, don't throw me your pity-look Freddie! I remember yes. That's why I don't think it is a good idea. Trying out." He appears to ponder about it.

"True . But I heard that at the try-outs next week there will be coaches not only from British leagues but from Romanian and French and American…" So, what you are saying is, I could go abroad to play. Abroad, as in miles and miles away from her and her new boyfriend?

"You're suggesting I should run away?" I raise an eyebrow expectantly.

"Just for a while. You don't have to immigrate if you don't want to. If you make it to a team and gain all the fame you ought to gain cause, let's face it, you are one awesome Seeker , you can come back and join any team you want." Yeah! I could do that. I guess.

"I suppose that is do-able." I mutter thoughtfully.

Being away from a person you love is not good. But in the case she has a new boyfriend and she is no longer interested –to say the least- in you then it might be a nice idea.

"Good. I'll owl McHuirter and announce you finally came to it. Your senses I mean." I nod trying and miserably failing to look happier.

"Oh! By the way. Owl Al and Max to tell them 'what the heck is wrong with you' cause they were dead worried." I nod again. I should really.

**********

One equally miserable week has passed since that day after the day I-I … well you know what? I still cannot say it.

Yet to be honest I can't say I didn't get support during this week. Fred was baby-sitting me all the time. Rosie and Scorp visited like ten times a day and Max dropped by to help cheering me up. Even my long-lost brother Al paid me a couple of visits accompanied with Vicky and Teddy and Lily.

So all in all there I am now facing the huge pitch where I had first seen her. I feel, filled with empty hopes that, one day I could forget. And did I stress the 'empty' part enough? Hope so.

"Ok. You're gonna go and kick ass." Fred exclaims and pats me in the back.

"James, don't worry. You played Quidditch since before you walked. You'll do great!" Sweet Rosie hugs me tight and released me after kissing me in the cheek.

"Mate, go show them what you're made of." My dear son Max gives me a push.

"I never thought I'd say this but you shouldn't worry about this. Nothing can go wrong bro. You were born for this." Is my brother Al encouraging me? Well, that is really something. But how can I be sure that I will pull this off? How can he be so sure about it? I mean, I bet _something_ will go wrong.

I take a step to go up my broom but a stable hand grabs my shoulder. I turn to meet no other than my son Scorpius.

"Don't think about the outcome James. Like you never did. Go out there and play for what you love the most." He smiles at me knowingly. "And we both know what this is." I take a big breath.

Yes, we both do.

Julia.

Julia, with her big grey eyes, her long silky hair, her small delicate body.

Julia, who held my hand to Apparate, who read her books by the fire, who smiled every time I said something stupid.

And finally Julia who said she didn't believe in love but still feared the moment I might find her little and leave her.

My Julia.

Not the one I hated. Not the one that hated me. After all that Julia never existed.

And before I know it I have passed all the first try-out stages. And I can hear hands clapping from down below. To my defense I believe it is not only my family and friends that are applauding. With the corner of my eye I see one of the judges smiling brightly my way.

But I pay no attention to them. I do as Scorpius said. Think of what I love the most.

My friends and the prank we did back in school. The endless parties we went to. The foolish conversations we had.

And then my mind returns to where it started.

To her.

The coach who conducts the try-outs asks me to catch the snitch and I make a dive for it. Then I turn left and back up following the golden light that the winged ball radiates.

Suddenly I notice it moving back up. High to the skies. I follow it determined. They probably want to test my speed skill. And you know what? If it is speed they want , then speed they will get.

I feel the wind howling in my ears and I lean forward glued to the broom. I release the stick with my right hand and speed up.

And then I see it. Up there between clouds. But the ball is no longer a ball. It is a pretty face with grey warm eyes. Julia's eyes. And it is smiling. To me.

This feeling of satisfaction rests in my heart and I take one last breath.

Within seconds I have the ball at my possession. I feel like making a happy dance up there in the skies. But I think better of it.

I quickly head back down and when I finally reach a spot just a few feet above the ground I stop. I check out for reactions from the various coaches but I know I don't need their assurance. I rocked. As simple as that.

And of course they look amazed. They are totally gaping at me. Exactly like my friends. Only…

My friends are not really gaping at _me._ I think that if I hadn't noticed what I just noticed I would have felt disappointed with them. But seeing as I did notice it, there was no time or place for disappointment.

_She_ is here. She! Julia. My Julia.

Now I am gaping too.

What the…? Am I hallucinating again? Like I did before, back up there, when I saw her face instead of the snitch?

No. No, I doubt it. Cause everybody appears to be shocked as well.

The victory smile leaves my face at once and I slowly land.

And when I say slowly, I mean in a snail's pace.

People come to cheer for me. Rosie, Scorpius, Al, Max, the coach that smiled at me before.

"Is that her?" Fred, who is currently hugging me asks. I guess he has caught me staring blankly at the place where she used to sit.

I nod.

And like I have lost all sense I free myself from the people hugging me and make my way towards the stands. I search for a minute or two and I finally spot her.

She is wearing a pale coral dress that dances around her thin legs and she has her hair falling on her shoulders.

I could say that she never looked prettier but I snap up of it in a moment.

She was sleeping with Wood. She broke up with me. Or I broke up with her but the point is it was over. She made that clear last time I saw her .

Yet don't get me wrong. I don't complain that I see her now.

Strangest thing about love?

No matter what happens it doesn't go anywhere. Not the love I have for her.

I approach her slowly and carefully. What am I supposed to say now?

"I'm afraid you came a little too late. All the other players have already tried-out and are gone." I mean she is probably here because the 'Daily Prophet' asked her to do an article on new players. Like the last time I saw her in a pitch.

"Oh, right!" She looks down for a moment. "But I didn't come here for the 'Prophet'." She mumbles and I feel confusion taking over me.

"Actually I quit my job." What?! Is she kidding me? But-but… She's awesome at what she does.

"That's crazy ! You're articles are perfect. Why did you do such a thing?" Yeah, yeah, I know how it was supposed to be torturing and awful talking to her but when you find out about stuff like that sadness just has to give its place to shock.

She widens her eyes at me response.

"You-you have read my texts?" She hesitantly asks. Timid like a little kid. Oh, man! She's killing me.

"All of them." I blurt out before I can help it. I see her smile a bit but I remain stoic.

"Erm, first of all I didn't like it in there. They always interfered in my job, making alterations in what I wrote. And also, well… a problem was created with a co-worker." I feel suicidal. Why on earth did I ask? Why? Couldn't I just say 'hi' and then keep my mouth shut?

Now she's gonna say how they had gone public with Grey and how she had to go because they couldn't work at the same place.

"We had this huge break-up fight in front of everyone and… everybody started calling me a bitch for treating him that way, so I just had to go." Wait, wait, wait. WHAT?!

A fight? A BREAK-UP fight with Grey? And people calling her a bitch? Who would ever dare to do such a thing? WHO?

I was something between ecstatic and extremely pissed off.

"You…" I stammered. Great job James…

"What I wanted to say is," She looks away from me once more. But I stare at her and her only. "that I came here to see you." Huh? Me? Why?

"I am sorry." Oh!

"I deserved it." I state mechanically.

"Yeah, but then again, if I accept that you do_, _I will have to accept that I deserved all the things you said for me that time, too." That time I lied to her. That time I said I hated her.

I see.

"But you see I _can't_ accept that. Cause it hurts way too much for it to be the right thing." She looks like she is talking to the ground rather than me but I understand perfectly well. It can't be right. This hatred between us. _This distance. _

There is something wrong.

"It hurts me too." I whisper. I am a grown up man, I know, but still I am so scared of what her next words will be.

"I know it does. I know it now." She whispers back shyly and I take a small step towards her.

"James." My heart starts beating faster as I hear my name coming from her lips. "Remember this time when you told me you loved me? Back when we had just started dating?" I shoot her a quizzical look. Of course I do. I mean it was the first time I ever said such a thing. You do not forget facts like this.

"And do you recall me telling you that forever is a long time and that there were lots of cute girls out there?" I nod. I had been depressed about it for quite a long time.

"Well, I lied. Forever might be a long time but I wanted to spend it with you… I still do." Oh, sweet Merlin! Is this a dream? It has to be a dream.

She can't possibly be telling me she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. No way!

I let a small questioning smile crawl up my face as I feel my heart pounding in my chest. It has been a long time since I last smiled.

"Wha-?" I try speaking.

"No. No listen to me James." She says my name again and I felt he smile broaden a bit more.

"I was scared that you might leave me for someone better for a really long time. I thought we could never fit. That we had nothing in common. And because of those fears I pushed you away." She takes a big breath and I stare at her seriously. As I have said before I know now that we must learn to talk to each other. Find a way other than snogging to show how we feel.

"And you were right when you said I made you hate me. I did. Because I acted all crazy. Ignoring you till you reached your boiling point and then sleeping with you to keep you from living." I saw her cheeks redden at her last comment. I felt mines hit up a bit too. But it didn't feel bad. Somehow talking didn't feel bad at all.

"But the fact is I never meant to do all those things. When I fought with you or said cruel things to you I was in pain as much as you were." I see her grey pools filling up with tears. I want to hug her. Make her stop speaking cause this is obviously hurting her. But I know I can't.

"Cause, no matter how nuts it is to say such a thing after all that has happened, I care about you. More than I care about me. And I love you. With all my heart. Nothing can possibly change that." She cracks up a smile too. Between tears and I sense this great feeling inside me , which I recently identified to be love, welling up.

I could never see that coming. Not in a million years. The smile that had been fighting its way to my mouth now widens so much it almost hurts.

My head is full of a thousand things I want to do. Hug her, kiss her , touch her. But I do none of the above. You see I am no longer seventeen. If I want this to work out I need to use words first. Explain.

"I love you too. And I care about you. Even when I thought I hated you I felt terrible when I saw you cry. Because it's like you're a part of me now. When you hurt, I hurt." I move closer to her. Finally ready for her. I now that now I am good enough for her.

I touch her cheek gently and it is just like touching a wire. I pull back for a second and then the next thing I know is that her own hand is on the side of my face. Soft like I remembered it.

I turn my face slowly and kiss her palm.

Then a sea of emotions covers me. I tie my hands around her waist and she shoves herself into my arms. I hold her tight as she rests her head on my chest. I hear her crying against me and pressing herself on me. I try to cover her with my hands. Show everyone that she is mine . That nothing bad will ever happen to her again cause I am here.

Needless to say that I am close to tears myself but I hold them back. Have you ever felt this thing when someone is so close he is almost inside you? Well, that's exactly it. We are one. She knows all that I kept secret and I know everything she feared.

If there was something wrong with us, it is now gone.

I kiss her soft brown hair and she raises her head to look at me. A wide smile is playing on her mouth like I guess it does on mines too. It feels like ages since I last smiled.

I lean forward and press my lips on hers. And she responds immediately. What more can I ever ask for? I tangle my fingers in her hair and still hold her close to me. She kisses me with a passion only she can master but fortunately there is not the usual pain in her kiss.

I hear someone coughing from next to us but I pay no attention to him. I am still kissing her. Her cheeks, her forehead her neck and then back to her mouth. This feeling of ecstasy never leaving me.

But you see ecstasy is not the point. Love is. And that is what was wrong with us before. We allowed ecstasy to show but not love. Both scared we might get hurt. But not anymore.

Now her kisses are not paradise, they are home.

"Excuse me!" The voice I was ignoring shouts annoyed and we reluctantly pull apart. However when I say apart I mean some inches away from each other.

And then I notice the world around me.

My friends are standing a few meters away from us smiling widely. And the man who was coughing his lungs out some moments ago is I presume one of the coaches. Oups!

But then again, who cares?

She loves me. We are back together. So what if the whole stadium saw us kissing? What if I get kicked out of here because I completely ignored a coach?

Ah! I couldn't care less. With her by my side I can do anything.

"Yes." I ask playfully and Julia elbows me slightly in the ribs and I glance at her. The playful look never leaving my face. She is blushing but makes no attempt to separate from me.

"I-I, just wanted to congratulate you Mr Potter." I gape at him. Wow! And I thought he was planning on scolding me for inappropriate behavior.

"Thank you." I mumble a bit embarrassed myself now.

"And just so you know I am already offering you a place in my team." He grins at me and Julia apprehensively.

"I mean usually I prefer to thing about those things before making such a bold move but we, in Chudley Cannons, always try to get hold of players with pretty wives quickly." He made a notion with his head towards Julia as he kept joking. Everybody chuckled and I held her tighter with one arm.

"Oh, this is Julia Thomas." I introduced knowing that I already liked this guy. He made a slight bow and turned to leave.

"I will surely think of your offer!" I exclaimed as I saw Fred and Scorpius making crazy hand moves my way and mouthing things like 'Are you nuts?' and 'Just 'think about it'?' or 'He is the coach of _the_ Chudley Cannons!' .

I only smiled and turned my attention back to her.

"You know they do have a point." She whispers playfully in my ear. "He is after all the coach of Chudley Cannons, the best British team." I peck her tenderly and whisper back.

"Well, if you liked him too." But before I manage to hear a reply a pair of hands takes her away from me.

"You must be Julia!" Fred shouts at her ear. She laughs at him wholeheartedly and I feel my insides swell.

"I am this prick's cousin Fred. I bet you have heard a lot about me. I surely have heard a lot about you." Julia shoot me a smirk.

"You have?" She asks the mischief never falling from her expression. Oh, how I love that girl…

"Are you kidding me? This guy is incapable to speak about anything else. I mean he's gonna bore you to death. Maybe you should reconsider." I shoot my cousin a glare even though I know he is simply pulling my legs.

"Hmmm, now that I think of it…" Why is she playing along with that jerk of a friend?

"Hey! This is not funny." I interfere despite myself.

"They day that James Potter would say something is not funny! Ha! Ok, now I have seen everything." Rosie comments from next to Scorpius and he tickles her a bit.

And before I know it Julia is back in my arms and we are all chuckling our eyes out.

"I will never leave you." I hear her breathing in my ear and I know now that things are cleared up at last.

That something that tortured us is no longer here.

That something that we failed to see is now shining like the sun.

And that something that was wrong, our relationship, is now the only right thing.

So I crash my girlfriend, the only girl I ever loved, the person I dream of spending the rest of my life with, in a tight hug and scream childishly.

"I knew that Julia!" And I stick my tongue out for her to see it. She mimics my move and we continue chuckling with the others.

Love makes us all fools someone once said.

Well, I see nothing wrong about that!

A/N: Sniff, sniff. Almost done with the story.

I will so miss James and Julia

There will be one more chapter and then…goodbye people.

Ok, not so much because I'm still in the middle of two other stories and can't wait to start a new one.

So lots of all to all of you

And don't forget to review!

By the way, last time I had a test and I asked you to wish me luck I did great so …

Wish me luck!

Sarah


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Ok, honestly, it took me some time (fine a lot) to post this up since , well the part everyone was waiting for has already passed

So this is like an epilogue

**By the way****, some friends suggested I should do a sequel to the sequel**

**You know like there was first Scorpius with Rose then James with Julia and now someone else**

**Like a series**

**I liked the idea so…**

**Yeah , there will be another one of these stories.**

**It will be Albus' story! So Albus POV**

**However there will be Rose/Scorpius moments and James/Julia moments in it**

Anyway ,

Enjoy!

**Chapter 8:**** The party**

I hate him. I absolutely, wholeheartedly despise him. Archie Bath is officially my worst nightmare. I wonder why on earth did I choose to take his offer and play for the Canons. It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

Because, ok, yes it is like the best British team and indeed the equipment and coaches we've got are awesome but …ten o'clock in the night of birthday is unacceptable.

So what if the big game of the season is next week? I wanted to spend today with Julia. It is so unfair. And to say that I am the best in the team is simply an understatement, so why, dear Merlin, this mistake of the universe, Archie, had to keep me up so bloody late?

Now I'm tired and sweaty and half-asleep…And I told her we could pass the night together. Damn Archie, now I can't keep my promise.

I walk out of the pitch my broom in hand and think of my place. In a moment things start revolving around me and the scenery alters. I find myself in front of my apartment's door.

I open the door , hey who has turned all the lights off?

"Surprise!" Wow! Is…is this a surprise party?

"Merlin!" …Is all I can say at the moment. Whoever did the decorating (my awesome girlfriend I suspect) is a natural talent. There are ribbons hanging over us and scattered balloons in the colors of the Chudley Canons and there are little images of quidditch players flying around my head.

A crowd of people are coming to me hugging me and kissing me. Among them I can spot Rosie and Scorp, glued to each other like always , Matt and Al with Lily.

Some old and new friends, co-players in the team and wait, what?

Dad? Mum? Aunt-Mione? Uncle-Ron?!

"Happy Birthday." I hear a much desired voice from behind me. Phew! There she is.

I turn only to be left speechless. Julia, my _girlfriend_ Julia, is just standing there in a black breathtaking dress , her hair falling on her shoulders like a river and a shining smile on her beautiful face.

"I'm sorry I'm late." I explain apologetically after she kisses me softly.

"It's only normal, I mean you've got this huge game next week." She sounds just like Archie…

"Yeah, but I had promised…" I had promised I would be here with you all night.

"The night is not over yet now is it?" She says like she's talking to a little kid.

"True." I admit. "I thought you weren't into parties." I continue and she sends me a playful smile.

"I decided to give it a shot. Like it?" Isn't she wonderful people?

"I love it, but I wouldn't mind being just the two of us." I say as I drag her to the dance floor (our living room) with me.

"Oh, come on everyone would like to have a party at his birthday. You needn't lie." She says as she sways elegantly in my arms.

"I really really wouldn't mind being the two of us." I whisper in her ear and she smiles against my chest.

I can be really persuasive when I wan to. Trust me.

We keep on dancing having a drink or two in the process. I have to admit being in a party like that with Julia by my side is seriously all I can ask.

"Aren't you tired?" I ask her panting two hours later. Seeing as she hasn't stopped dancing and talking and laughing for one moment.

"A bit, wanna go sit down?" She says observing my tired looks.

"Yes, please!" I beg.

"Oh dear!" She says as she opens our bedroom door and closes it rapidly.

"I see. We'll have to go some other place to talk then." I nod knowingly at her shocked look. Some couple has probably taken control over our bedroom, or rather one special part of it, namely the bed.

"The park?" I suggest seeing as it is just too loud in there. She smiles and nods.

I take her hand in mines , like I love to and think closely of this bench we have made it a habit lately to visit in our free evenings.

As soon as we Apparated there I sit heavily on the bench and drag her down with me. I take her in my arms, tie my hand with hers and kiss her softly. The kind of kiss only two people who know all about each other can share. Then she kisses me back passionately and the embrace becomes more intense.

I see stars like a fifteen-year old who kisses for the first time and smile against her lips.

"What?!" She asks looking weirdly at my smile. Hehehe…

"I was just thinking, this is surely the best birthday ever." I pretend to think deeply of something before adding. "Or maybe second best, you see there was this time when I was six, when grandma Weasley made me a chocolate cake for my birthday…" She chuckles, I laugh.

"So I am beaten by a chocolate cake. It's only fair I guess." She says and I hug her closer, kissing her cheek loudly, like a kid.

"Nah…just kidding, you're way sweeter." Have I ever mentioned how she looks like a little kid too when she smiles?

"So how was your day?" She begins after remaining silent for a while.

"Exhausting. I hate Archie. Yours?" I turn slightly to look at her eyes.

"Interesting. I found a job." Seriously? Wow! That is way nice. She's been searching all over the place for one of those but nothing seemed to be adequate. Naturally.

"Merlin! You should have said that first! Where, how?" She stares dreamingly at the skies before replying.

"You're never gonna believe it but from now on I'm officially a reporter for the Quibber." The…? Aunt-Luna's paper?

"Isn't the Quibber too…" I search for a proper word. "…imaginative for you?" I ask.

"That's exactly what I thought when I went for the interview but Luna proved me wrong. Apparently they are the only ones who are interested in publishing the truth. She explained to me, like I had guessed that all big papers like the Prophet are handled by others and aren't really free. However the Quibber does not depend on anyone and so is able to say whatever he wants to. Plus it has gained lots of readers since the Second War." I see. Yes, it does make sense for her to take that particular job.

"So…CONGRATULATIONS!" I shout in he ear and she shoves me away playfully.

"Shut up James it's two o'clock in the morning." So what? Can't I celebrate for my girlfriend's new job?

"Yes, mum." I say obediently trying to keep my face serious. She shoves again I almost fall off the bench.

"You trying to kill me?" She takes my hand and drags me back to my original place, an apologetic smile on her lips.

"Sorry." And suddenly I find myself unable to breathe, the greatness of her beauty finally catching up with me.

He eyes are big and are looking at me with a weak yet determined air. Her small body leaning against mines, fitting in my arms perfectly, and her hand in mines, holding me up.

And yet once again I remember all that we've been through. All the pain and the lies, all the things that were wrong. But then out of nowhere and even if we had created a huge mess things started to unfold and clear up.

I have to admit I never saw it coming. Us being back together. Being so happy. So right this time. But it did happen. And I couldn't be more grateful.

Cause she's a great person. Pretty and intelligent, righteous and kind. And , who would have thought, she loves _me_. Which is , let's just face it, a miracle of its own.

Not to mention that I adore her. And that doesn't look like it's going to change , ever I mean.

"Marry me." I lean forward and whisper. I feel my heart pounding in my chest.

What if she says no? What if she's not into marriage in general? Damn…

I shouldn't have asked. I mean it's not like I won't love her if we don't get married or the other way around, I just… I just wanted us to be a family that's all…

"I-I…" Oh, crap , she's gonna say 'no' . But of course she will refuse. She's only twenty-four…I'm only twenty-four…

"James, are you sure?" Am I sure? _Am I sure? _

"I am." I say matter-of-factly and she sighs. Hey! Wait ! What does that mean?

Then she smiles.

"I do! How could I not?" Oh, sweet Merlin!

She thrusts herself on me and I start kissing her, like I've never done before.

"I have to say only one thing : There is something _really_ wrong with you two." We both turn our heads towards the source of the interruption only to come across my dear brother Albus.

Something wrong with us? HA!

"No…" I say as I hold her in my arms. "…there is nothing wrong with us." And ignoring my brother I kiss her again.

And again.

And again…

(Read A/N!!)

The End 

A/N: Dear sweet people, another story is over.

I must say *sniff*, *sniff* that I will miss you all.

**BUT…****there will be a sequel,**** as I said before.**

**And it will be ****Albus POV**

**So if you are interested ****you can either go to my profile and find it there or search for Albus Potter / OC **

**The new story is called ****'Sanity'**

**Please try it out**

Hope you liked this one

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Share your thoughts

I so love you all

Thanks ,

Sarah


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